Starting Where I’m At

I have not quit. I’m sure (read: hoping), creative death and artist’s block are very common post art school. In college, everyday was about my next assignment and I could throw myself into possibilities through studio time. When being a full time artist meant you were making art for the wealthy, religious or village as a whole, I’m sure it was easier to find the drive— and money— to create. Now we all have to make art for ourselves in this contemporary world and that’s only fun if you don’t care about having health insurance.

But I digress; I have not quit. I’ve decided the only way for me to be plugged in while I don’t work in the arts is to find the arts myself. Hopefully people remember me when I crash their artist mixers.

After graduating with my Bachelors degree, I’ve realized I didn’t think much about what it meant to me to be an artist outside of just existing as one. I’ve always been so sure it’s in me not on me, so getting the 9-5 didn’t seem like it’d affect me much. Now I’m in the “real world” and I’m just trying to fulfill my basic needs.

For what feels like the first time in my life I don’t feel like an artist. I don’t feel like I’m amazing.

My therapist thinks writing will be a first step into getting back into what really drives me.

I’m not a writer. Perhaps as I write publicly I’ll improve and creating in general is the goal.

This blog is also for me. I’ve always been someone who loves learning and this will definitely be a process but I’m sure my skills will build as I go.

This is for starting where I’m at and not where I want to be.